Pass the Road Rage Please

Do you enjoy having a two-thousand pound vehicle under your control while sharing the road with other monster trucks that thousands of people, millions probably, die at the hands of every year?  I typically don’t, so I waited until I was nearly graduated from high school and almost 18 to get my license.  One might be surprised I’m not still terrified of driving.  I’m not claiming to be the best driver in the universe, but I surely try my best to be a safe driver while managing the radio, texting, drinking scalding tea, chomping on a BigMac, reading the paper, doing my makeup, napping, and going as fast as possible while driving my standard shift car (kidding, of course).

On a daily basis, I wish real-life driving was a bit more like Mario Kart.  Don’t you??  Bombing annoying drivers with turtle shells or leaving bananas behind for the dumb ones would just be so much more fulfilling!

If my blog has taught me anything, it’s to be observant of my life and what’s happening around me.  I want to live a life worth writing about (as most of my posts are clearly non-fiction).  Here’s some noteworthy car-themed things I’ve witnessed recently:

    • Friday’s 3 hour car ride to visit my Ireland friend Amanda was filled with anxiety about the release of MTEL scores for my co-pilot, Erin. Oddly, I was very calm, and though my email (with good news) came in first, I annoyingly refused to open in until much later in the night. However, when Erin’s email finally came in (with her good news), she put on her dancing-while-sitting shoes and nearly punched my rear-view mirror clean off, giving me a near heart-attack the next time I looked into it and saw only my sunroof.
    • A man pulled into my town’s gas station Saturday.  He got out and realized the gas tank was on the other side of the car, which forced him to back-out and turn around, as the hose wasn’t long enough to reach. Ironically enough, the license plate read: “GENIUS”.
    • It was Easter Sunday morning at a red light in a neighboring small town.  Green light. 4, 3, 2, 1: BEEEEEP. Yes, thank you, Sir in the family-filled SUV for reminding me what the color green means as I was shifting. Over the next few miles, I realized this same man was following, and I watched as he pulled behind me and my family into the church parking lot.  While he prayed for his salvation, hopefully he didn’t forget to ask for forgiveness of his rude, impatient driving.  Clearly, the “Jesus fish” on his bumper wasn’t working properly…
    • Countless New England scholars need to be re-educated on the proper use of their blinkers.  Sometimes utilized to indicate they’re turning one way.  Or maybe the other way.  Or maybe going straight.  Who knows?!
    • After driving over three hours both Friday and Saturday afternoon, I parked my car for an hour at my mom’s house.  I returned to find a huge bird-poop splatter right across my wind-shield.  From what I could detect, this crow had a diet high in strawberries and milk.  Lovely!

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