As many of you know, I’m not exactly the biggest fan of holidays, especially those of the religious brand, the kind that require any sort of gifts or obligatory observed traditions, or the one on July 8th every year… Now, you’re probably thinking that I’m a stereotypically single, liberal-arts-studying, independent, intelligent, feminist, college-girl who hates Valentine’s Day and doesn’t need a guy to buy chocolate and flowers, pay for a fancy dinner, etc., etc. And yes, SOME of that is true. But I actually love Valentine’s Day, though not for the secretly hopeless romantic side of me you’re thinking of.
There are two main reasons I love Valentine’s Day: 1) PEOPLE WATCHING & 2) EXPECTATIONS. If your all-time favorite hobby is people watching like mine is, after some thinking, you’d have to agree that this holiday on a college campus is absolutely prime! I don’t feel the need to get into the highly researched details and statistics I’ve procured, but here’s a brief overview: Four types of girls #1 those dreaming of their boyfriend being perfect (ie picking out the perfect gift); #2 the hate-being-single girls crying into a pint or two or three of Ben and Jerry’s “Chubby Hubby”; #3 the ones actually not caring; and #4 those just pretending they don’t care.
Now, I do acknowledge this post is extremely sexist and stereotypically critical of (me and) my own peers and of society in general, but that’s obviously what’s entertaining about it. This brings me to why I love Valentine’s Day: I’m not on a rant, but I do find the card-buying, gift-bearing, flower-wrapping nonsense completely and utterly ridiculously over-the-top. Having said that, this is one annual celebration that I absolutely love for that precise reason. The intense commercialism and consumerism brings out the WORST in people, and hence, the BEST in people watching. However, I do have to make a note that I do know some amazingly creative people who MAKE cards, WRITE stories, and CREATE presents for loved ones, which are totally awesome and appropriate in my book. The End (of the boring, non-interactive part).
My favorite things directly or indirectly related to Valentine’s Day! Check them out! (If they weren’t worth it, I wouldn’t put them up):
- My favorite “Don’ts For Single Girls” from The Vine’s hilarious article: (mature audience)
“DON’T go about saying, “I hate Valentine’s Day” and “it’s so commercial” to anyone who will listen. Don’t post it on Facebook. Don’t tweet it on the tweeting machine. There is no way to frame this sentence without sounding like a bitter loser. Also, no one cares.”
“DON’T watch The Notebook. Watching The Notebook on Valentine’s Day is the number one cause of suicide among single women in Australia. The number two cause is listening to Adele’s ‘Someone Like You’.”
“DON’T wear red to work. You won’t look cute. You’ll look like an asshole.”
- And favorite “Don’ts for Single Dudes” from a different article from The Vine: (also mature audience)
“DON’T make a list of all the reasons a girl would choose Ryan Gosling over you.”
“DON’T chastise any lady who has the temerity to actually get excited about Valentine’s Day. Jerk.”
“DON’T scatter flower petals on a girl’s veranda. You’ll look like a creep. And after she comes out to sweep them off while you look on through a pair of long-distance binoculars, you’ll start acting like a creep.”
- For the huge nerd in me, and the nerd that all of you secretly are: “10 of the Greatest Kisses in Literature“. Not all belong on the list in my opinion, but oh well…
- “Shit ____ Say” videos are one of the latest trending YouTube topics. If you have my sense of humor and/or the ability laugh at/with stereotypes while acknowledging their horrible (but normally true) qualities, “Shit Single Girls Say” will definitely entertain you, as well as “Shit Nobody Says“, even though the later is unrelated to Valentine’s Day.
- While I don’t believe Time News always has the most reliable articles, I loved the recently published “My Worldly Valentine” by Kate Springer. Each entry has a picture and description from various celebrations from around the world!
- From the ever offensive and hilarious Cracked.com, “If Valentine’s Day Cards Told The Truth” and “23 Painfully Honest Valentine’s Day Cards” (also mature audience)
- And lastly, what with this post be without a ridiculous Harry Potter reference, right? Well if anyone plans on tying the knot Muggle-style but needs some wizard influence, check out all these suggestions for favors, attire, food, and music. My favorite HP website, MuggleNet, has it all in this article! (If anyone actually clicks on that link, they may be my soul mate)
That is all. HAVE A GREAT VALENTINE’S DAY =)!